September 25, 2010.
It is my birthday today. I should be happy and should celebrate life but I can't explain how I feel. I feel sad and lonely. Some always wait for this time of the year. Birthdays aren't so bad but feel upsetting for me.
Here comes the emo side of me. My mind is filled with sad thoughts. I don't know why. It is not that I'm afraid of getting older. I feel upset. I don't feel throwing a party or hanging out. I just want to be alone. I lived with my grandma before and I used to tell her not to prepare anything for my birthday. This is what is happening every year since I was a child. I really didn’t believe this birthday blue concept. It year;y happens, two years ago I accepted to myself I am experiencing it.
I don't know why I feel like this. Maybe I'm starting to assess myself. What am I doing with my life, what I have accomplished? None so far.
Maybe I feel upset when I don't receive greetings from my friends, or when one of my love ones forgets this day.
Maybe I am used of not celebrating birthdays.
Maybe I look back to some regrets in my life.
I shouldn’t feel this way. I have my family and friends who love. I am blessed in so many ways. I shouldn’t be sad. It’s my birthday. Let’s party party!!!!!!!!!
Hopefully by next year di ko na to maramdaman..
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